Bill Nye The Science Guy: Experiment Hogwarts!
by girl of ireland 44
Summary: A certain science guy called Bill Nye finds himself, after a strange accident, on the grounds of Hogwarts. At first, he can hardly believe his eyes. But then, he goes exploring....


One of my science teachers once really liked Bill Nye. He showed us the episodes quite often. I actually enjoyed them, because I fell in love with the fun, silly, and happy Bill Nye. It's been a while since I have seen the episodes, so I may have made a few mistakes. But, this is the story of Bill Nye's three-day (or possibly more!) stay at that castle called Hogwarts. Wonder what he's gonna do...

(I'll explain why and how Bill can see Hogwarts later on!)

* * *

Dear Bob J. Smith,

_Science: A+_

See Bob, that was always my grade in science when I was a youngster. Through grade school, middle school, and high school, I maintained a very strong A plus in each and every one of my science classes. Why, teachers practically bragged about me to the other students! It's no surprise I became a super smart fellow in the field of science and went on to teach millions of kids with no science in their noggins all about, well, science! And I have operated the show rightly called _Bill Nye The_ _Science Guy!_ for quite some time. Why, I've taught all about the cells of animals, photosynthesis, the water cycle, and many more science goodies! And the part about it is, I'm not operating one of those boring science documentary thingies, but an awesome show that inspires the love of science in many children across schools all over the place!

But enough of an introduction! I must quickly right down about a strange event that has occurred to me. I'm afraid no one but myself will believe it, and I'm not even sure if me, myself and I believe it. But I will write down all that I remember, so I can look back in time to this strange and most eccentric event. Let me begin at the beginning. Well, here goes….

It all began on a bright and sunny morning in the middle of October. The red, orange, yellow, brown, and other color leaves that I had once taught kids all about (on the episode where I talked about photosynthesis. Speaking of photosynthesis, did you know that…err, never mind, I better get back to my story!). Anyway, the sun made the colorful leaves sparkle, a light breeze ruffled the branches of the tall oaks and other trees that surrounded the sidewalk I was walking on, and light puffy clouds sailed like ship on a calm blue sea in the sky. It was truly one of those nice mornings, even if you _had_ skipped your traditional morning coffee. But yes, the point I'm trying to get across was the fact that this day was one of those days you thought nothing would go wrong at all. Boy, you can sure be wrong, as I just had to learn that same day.

Well, I was examining some very pretty rocks by the shore of a lake nearby, and I was thinking about an episode I could do concerning rocks. Of course, I had already done one about rocks, but every day scientists like me discover something new about something old. So I could certainly do an episode that was a new, updated episode on minerals of all sorts!

So, there I was, thinking about this new episode and the cool stuff I could in it, and the experiments that could be performed, when I heard a peculiar noise. The noise sounded like a firecracker in the distance. Why, I could barely hear it. But a firecracker it did sound like, and it sparked (no pun intended, Bob) my interest.

The noise was coming behind a large group of bushes just near the sidewalk. They were just plain old bushes, I recollect. But that doesn't matter. What does matter is what I found behind that group of bushes. And what did I find?

Well, Bob, I went behind the bushes and stuck my hand between the leaves and felt around for something that might be the owner of that noise I had just heard. And I pulled out a shiny, black, and rather long…wand!

Yes, Bob, I can just now imagine what you are thinking. I bet you are chuckling to yourself, _That Bill, he just might have earned his place on today's list of_ Most Looney! But you are just a diary, Bob, I must admit, so you can't think (at least to my knowledge) at all. But I must continue about that wand.

I kneeled down in the wet morning grass and fingered the wand for a while, admiring it's long, slender, and well-taken-care-of self. It sure was a beauty! At this time, I was thinking to myself, _Now, what poor little kid has lost this very nice play toy?_ I swiveled my head around like an owl (but not quite) and tried to see if I could find a kid nearby who looked quite unhappy. _Aha!_ I said to myself, as I saw a small, blond boy sitting forlornly on the porch of a big white house. I kept a hold of the wand and made my way over to him, putting on my friendliest smile possible.

"Hello!" I said to him, standing on the stone walkway. It took a few seconds for the boy to look up at me. "What's wrong?" I asked him, and he replied in a sad manner: "I stole something of my mummy's and now it's gone!" He began to wail even louder, and I feared that this noise would wake up the whole neighborhood. I was right.

A yippy dog started yipping, and a man wearing blue pajamas and a night cap with a white fluffy ball on its end leaned out the window to the house next-door. "What's all that racket for?!" He screeched, peering around behind his thick rimmed glasses for the source of the noise that had most likely woke him up.

He finally glared down at the young boy and me. His eyes widened in surprise. "Hey! Are you that science guy? Bill or Bob, was it? My kid watches you on the telly all the time!"

I shouted back up to him in a kindly manner, "I sure am! I'm Bill Nye the Science Guy! And I'm glad to know that your kid is watching me! I bet their brain is full of science, huh?"

The man nodded, the night cap almost falling off his head. He carefully steadied it and questioned me about the source of the noise. "I'd like to question you about the source of that noise," he said.

I went up and patted the boy's shoulder. "It's this youngster. He lost something of his mother's."

The man nodded again. "Yep, I can understand exactly why he did that! Why, I once lost something of my mum's. It was an antique camera, in fact, and-" He didn't finish his sentence, because I heard a muffled voice coming from inside his house break in, "You'd better wake up right this minute Bruce! Or I'll feed your breakfast to the mutt!" Bruce grumbled, gave a wave, and went away, either back to his bed or to breakfast, who knows. Now, me personally, I would go to breakfast. Who can resist food?

I turned my full attention to the boy. "What did you lose youngster?"

"My mum's wa…err, sir, could I ask you a question first?"

"Ask away!" I replied as cheerfully as all the cute cartoon characters on Saturday morning television.

"Are you a muggle, sir?"

It seemed like an insult. I mean, c'mon, a _muggle_? That just _had_ to be an insult! Wouldn't you think the same thing, Bob?

Okay, so don't respond Bob.

But anyway, I replied in the negative. "Nope, I most definitely am not a mugg…muggle."

The boy stared at me thoughtfully. "Prove it," he demanded of me, standing up and whipping the tears from his face.

"How?" I asked, very befuddled.

"Get the object I lost back, with your magic, then."

"Well, tell me what you lost first," I responded smartly, playing the boy's game with him.

"The wand. My mum's wand. Get it, if you can, that is."

My insides chuckled, but I tried not to show it on my countenance. I decided to keep playing along with this boy's game. "Muble Jumbly Koko Keef, Sally Salaz and Erek Eeks!" I shouted, and produced the wand from my pocket with a flourish.

The boy eyed me wearily. "What spell was that, mister? I never heard of that one before."

"Err, I learned it from a friend a long way away from here. Well…here is the wand." I gracefully handed the wand to the young boy.

The boy eyed the wand with glee and ceased his crying. Then his green eyes lit up. "Hey, wait a minute, sir! I thought you were a science guy. I never knew you were a wizard too! Is that how you did all those tricks on the telly?" The boy queried eagerly.

I nodded in the affirmative. Best to play along with his game, was what I thought. No use in upsetting him more.

The boy thanked me, told me his name was Mark, and entered back into the house, carefully cradling the wand.

I was just turning to walk down the walkway when I heard the door slam behind me and Mark was racing out the door and to my side. "Wait, science guy! I can't use magic good yet, and not with a wand either yet. So, sir, could you please do a favor for me?"

"Of course!" I told him. What in the world was he going to ask of me?

"Could you…I mean, will you please fix that broken glass?" He asked, handing me the wand. He pointed to the house on the left, not the one with the sleepy-headed man, but the one on the other side. There was a small, broken section of glass on a window located on the side of the house.

"See, sir, I was playing around with a softball last afternoon, and I accidentally threw the ball into their window. My mum never seen me, and the neighbors are away. I got the ball, 'cause it was stuck in the window sort of, but I couldn't fix the glass. See, that was what I was trying to do earlier. I was trying to fix the glass and I was saying bunches of words, and then the wand just disappeared out of my hands! But you found it, and now you can fix the window! Pweeeeze!!" He begged of me.

"Uh, okay," I said, patting him once again on the shoulder. "Let me see…." I pointed my wand at the window (I was still playing along, Bob. I figured the boy either wanted to make me feel like a fool or actually believed in magic).

"Skigg Grigg, Too Boo, See Saw, fix that window!" I shouted, and felt a wringing in my ears. The wand began to shake in my hand, the scene around me disappeared, including Mark, and then all I could see was pitch black darkness. (Why, Bob, it was as dark as in the darkest part of a coal mine, as dark as the depths of the ocean, as dark as the midnight sky, as dark as black licorice, as dark as a black cat, as dark as…lots of other dark stuff!)

And then, the darkness was gone, and I found myself standing looking at a very odd man indeed. I was at the edge of a dark forest, and was just behind another group of bushes (but these looked sinisterly sinister). And I saw the biggest and tallest man I had ever seen in my life, Bob! Why, he was even bigger than…than…I don't know what! But he sure was immense.

The man, who had mane of bushy hair like a lion gone wrong, was tending to pumpkins the size of small cars, or least they seemed that large. He was humming some sort of song, and he seemed, despite his giant-like appearance, a kind and placid man. So, what did I do Bob? Why, I went up to meet him! I'll tell you all about it later, once I finish this lasagna that has just finished warming up in the oven. Goodbye for now, Bob!


End file.
